Our Secret

This is but one of the four poems I wrote for the Valentine's Day poem competition. Sadly, none of them won.

I hate having to spend Valentine's Day alone.
I hate not being able to feel him close.
So many questions I have to pose.
But he's not here the answers to disclose.
(No, that wasn't it, duh, I just thought that up and it rhymed so..)

Our Secret

They say seeing is believing
I wonder if that’s true
For it has been months since I last saw you
And all the time we’ve been apart
You’ve been unable to prove
That you love me more than I love you

At first the distance did not matter
But now I fear it does
‘Cause the world is closing in and seeing you is now a must
I used to think Valentine’s was “lame”
I did not care for all the fuss
But spending it alone makes me miss you much

And whenever I see a couple
Kissing in the rain
I wish you were here with me so I could kiss you again
I’m miles from where you are
And yet you feel so close
I just wish you could be here to hold my hand when our secret is exposed

Cascada...

...ROCKS! I am so in love with their songs Runaway and Could It Be You? from their album Perfect Day which was released last year in 2007.
You should give 'em a listen if you've got the time. Cos, seriously, they rock! I mean it! Come on, would I lie to you? *Smiles sweetly, innocently; like Puss in Boots from Shrek The Third*
*In a Wayne Cramp tone of voice/manner of speaking* I'm a good girl. O=)

I Love.

Okay, enough songs.. ah, who am I kidding? Can't get enough of music! At the moment, I am so totally in love with OneRepublic - especially the songs All We Are and Stop & Stare.

Here are some extracts of my fave bits from those two songs:-

"And I believe that time could tear you apart but it won't break anything that we are, we are
We won't say our goodbyes, you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, our lovers' alibi"
-OneRepublic "All We Are"

"Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see?"
-OneRepublic "Stop & Stare"

Oh how I love. No, that doesn't mean I love the fullstop (.) from the previous sentence - don't worry fullstop (.), I still love you too! - it simply means I love. End of.

Oh and another song I love is What Hurts The Most by Cascada.
Here's an edited version of my fave bits (so basically the whole song ^^):

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm okay but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But i'm doin it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do"

Intact

I can't be bothered to say why I wrote this. Just read it and be done with it. It's strange, I know.

Intact – Komal Josan

Efforts wasted, all in vain
As our lives waste away
There’s not much more left to say
Apart from the fact
That we’re still intact
Words unspoken, things unsaid
Made us wish that we were dead
But we’ve crossed that bridge and passed all thatAnd we’re still intact

I feel unscathed
So untouched
Don’t go away
I need you so much
The world is fading
But we’re still stating the fact
We’re still intact

War and blood, all the gore
Didn’t stop us wanting more
Our bones felt heavy and so sore
But you still can’t help the fact
That we are still intact

I feel unscathed
So untouched
Don’t go away
I need you so much
The world is fading
But we’re still stating the fact
We’re still intact

Nothing could touch us
Not now, not ever yeah
The world is changing
It’s going forever
But we’re still together
Yeah
Still together
Forever and ever
And ever
And ever

I feel unscathed
So untouched
Don’t go away
I need you so much
The world is fading (it’s fading, it’s fading, it’s fading)
The world is fading
We’re still intact
Yeah

Someday

Don't really have an explanation or a reason as to why I wrote this yesterday, I just did.

Someday – Komal Josan

Following the same routine every single day
No change
From what we once used to be to what we are today
No change

Used to think there was more to this world than this
Should’ve got away
Tried to convince ourselves that we weren’t missing out
Should’ve got away

So many chances we should have grasped
Watched opportunity slip out of hand
Kept in all the words that needed to be said
So many things we did not do
Tried to sing when out of tune
Keeping in all those things that needed to be said
Someday

We used think that the world would change
If we got away
Used to fool ourselves by saying it’s all okay
But we should’ve got away

Used to dream of open skies
And of the world on the outside
But still we kept in all the words that needed to be said
And all those things we did not do
We used to blame on our misfortune
Keeping in all those things that needed to be said
Someday

We used to think that people would be mad if we were to leave
Suddenly everything has all changed and the tables have turnedOpportunity’s staring us in the face, don’t go away

Someday
I told you, someday
Everything would change
Someday
Someday

Now that everything has changed
We can live life our own way
No more words left unsaid
No more keeping it all in
No more bottling it all up
No more words left unsaid
Someday
(I told you, you didn’t believe me)
Someday

Just Me

Only one person in this whole wide world can truly understand what I meant by this song. I love you. xx

Just Me – Komal Josan

Trying to hide it just goes to show
How much you do not know
Trying to cry it off won’t help
It’ll just make your heart melt

Like it already does
I can see it in your eyes so clearly

It all gets to you
You don’t understand
Maybe you don’t want to
Or just can’t grasp the fact
The world is not against you
I’m trying to help you
If only you would stop and see
Who’s waiting
Just me

You won’t listen to anyone
Everybody’s trying so hard
To get you just to understand
It’s just too much for you to handleOn your own
But you won’t admit that you need us
Cos

It all gets to you
You don’t understand
Maybe you don’t want to
Or just can’t grasp the fact
The world is not against you
I’m trying to help you
If only you would stop and see
Who’s waiting
Just me

I’ve been with you from the start
I’ve gotten you this far
And believe me when I say
I’m not going away
Won’t leave you in the dark
I’ll tell you how it was
I tried to keep away
But I kept falling into love
I’ve fallen into love with you

And I know how much it all gets to you
You don’t understand
Maybe you don’t want to
Or just can’t grasp the fact
The world is not against you
I’m trying to help you
If only you would stop and see
Who’s waiting
It’s just me

Someone To Save You

I wrote this yesterday. Kind of inspired by OneRepublic but mostly 'cause of the mood I was in at the time.

Someone To Save You – Komal Josan

You needed someone to save you
From all the loneliness and pain
Well, listen up, I’ll save you
From everything you’re hiding from
Don’t run away

Hey, I’m here for you
Don’t fade, I won’t pray for you
I’ll just say what you need to know
Don’t let go
I can help you

Just try to understand
Cos I comprehend

You needed someone to save you
From all the loneliness and pain
Well, listen up, I’ll save you
From everything you’re hiding from
Don’t run away

You told me everything
I’ll soothe all the anger and pain
Won’t lose the love I feel
It’s so real
And it’ll help you

Just try to understand
Cos I comprehend

You needed someone to save you
From all the loneliness and pain
Well, listen up, I’ll save you
From everything you’re hiding from
Don’t run away

Just try to understand
Cos I comprehend
I do

I will wait as long as I have to before the sun comes up
And drowns you in its light
I can take no more of this, I’ll erase the pain with a kiss ‘til the sun comes up
And you’ll feel much better

Just try to understand
Cos I comprehend

You needed someone to save you
From all the loneliness and pain
Well, listen up, I’ll save you
From everything you’re hiding from
Don’t run away

Dead Ever Since..

I just finished writing another song and if you're reading this right now you must be thinking, "God, not another song!" but anyways, this one was kinda inspired by Cascada's What Hurts The Most and er.. some guys I know (or knew..) so here it is:

Dead Ever Since - Komal Josan

Every minute, every day that goes by
My heart bleeds for you
Spend my days listening away to songs
That remind me of you
One more chance, one more glance of your face
It’s all I want
I just wish for a sign to tell me that you feel the same
You’re all I want

I just can’t go on like this
You’re all I have
And it’s you I miss
I can’t go on living like this
Can’t even call it living
Cos I’ve been dead ever since

Every moment, every time I see your picture
On the TV screen
Or hear or read something about you online
I swear, my heart it bleeds
I just wish there was something I could do
To make it go away
To ease the pain and loneliness of losing you
But it won’t go away

I just can’t go on like this
You’re all I have
And it’s you I miss
I can’t go on living like this
Can’t even call it living
Cos I’ve been dead ever since

You made me feel alive
Every single time
Although when you left I cried
Didn’t want to say goodbye
I’m just so glad to have had you in my life

I just can’t go on like this
You’re all I have
And it’s you I miss
I can’t go on living like this
Can’t even call it living
Cos I’ve been dead ever since
© Komal Josan 2008

Haha I love copyrighting stuff, like that! ^^ :D :P