Nederlands

I'm still bored.
I'm always bored.
Hmm.
Bored, bored, bored.
So bored.

On another note; ich liebe Deutschland - es felsen!
Ik rock ook vant ik kan Nederlands, Frans, Duit, Punjabi, en een beetje Hindi en Portuguese spreken! Oh yeah - ik rock! Jij weet dat het waar is! Ik lieg nooit - nooit, ik zeg je!
Ik weet niet wat meer ik moet en/of kan zeggen. Ik wil naar huis gaan! Nee - ik wil met hem zijn!
Nb: als dat is niet correct, het is niet mijn fout - het is helemaal jou fout. Ik lieg nooit, remember? Haha dat's goed. Een mix van Nederlands en Engels.
Ik verveeled me. Een heel veel.
:/ Ik ben een beetje moe. Mijn rug doet pijn omdat we hebben hockey gespelde gisteren, in PE.
Zo meteen (eh achtien minuten), ik ga eeten. Niet dat ik heb honger - ik heb nooit honger - maar ik moet eeten (mijn ouders zeg dat ik moet en.. ik moet) en.. ja.
Ik kan niet denken naar iets anders te zeggen hier (ik praat niet maar je weet wat ik wil zeggen).
Twaalf minuten nu.
Tien minuten.
Oh, ik gaan een count-down doen. Oh yeah! Dat gaat me verveelen ook maar het d'enige wat ik kan bedenken.
Negen minuten..
Acht..
Sam sucks - uh huh!
I rock. End of.
Zes minuten.
Vijf minuten..
Drie minuten! (Ik heb de vier niet zeggen omdat Sam was hier en hij probeerde dit te lezen maar hij sucks. Hell yeah!
Twee minuten..
Wij hebben een minute te gaan maar.. bof.
Ik ga.

Boredom ftw

I'm so bloody bored.
And I still have to finish my Geography homework.
Curse you, homework, curse you!
As Jong says: boredom ftw.
*Shakes head*

As that song goes:
"Don't want to grow up
I want to get out
Hey, take me away
I want to shout out
Take me away"

Gotta go now. Dad's nagging me to finish my homework so we can watch a movie or summink.
And nature calls. :/

Untouched

Have you heard that song by The Veronicas - Untouched?
It totally rocks!
I mean it! Like, dude, you have got to hear it!
As it happens, it should be somewhere at the top of this page. If it isn't then it probably means that this blog post is a tad old and I've found a better song.
But seriously, listen to it! Just once! It frickin' rocks!

I can totally relate, duh.

To buy or not to buy - that is the question.

Went out shopping to City 2 today. Got some good stuff but no, I didn't get that iPhone. =(
Alas, I fear I will have to somehow mysteriously break and/or lose my current phone in order to get my hands on that precious iPhone.. Hmm.
Yes.
If you're wondering what I did get (which you're probably not but I'm gonna tell you anyways so :P), I got a pair of neat shoes - the kind you wear with skirts and stuff - and a top.
Not much but meh it's better than nothing.
Still want that iPhone though.. or an iTouch, whatever, I just want it!!

What once was, never will be

The roses once bloomed
The trees all swayed
The sun replaced doom
The bad went away
But now it's a mess
The feelings have changed
The others are direct
Saying I'm deranged

What once was
Never will be
It was all a lie
I should've seen
I still don't understand
I really believed
I could handle it
Wouldn't be deceived

Overreaction

Seems like it's been ages since I last posted anything.
I don't feel so good. Mentally, that is. And, no, it's not stress or pressure or school-related.
Ah I dunno.. I'm probably just overreacting. I tend to do that a lot.
But with him my resolve just seems to evaporate and I can't think of anything else, my mind goes blank..

Yes, well. Anyways.

It's almost my birthday. *Nods*
Boooring, as always. Texted him last night asking if he could come over or something but he still hasn't replied. That plus one or two other things are happy contributors to my worrying and overreacting.
I am oh so bored and oh so pissed off. Not to mention fucked up.
Gotta go now, EastEnders' on. Jack reminds me of him. =(

If Love Is Blind

Ah, yet another one.
I wonder if anyone reads this blog..

If Love Is Blind – Komal Josan

If love is so blind how come I can see you?
If reason is right then why don’t they believe you?
If faith is all you need then why do I still need you?
If sin is a crime then is it a sin to want you?

Every day that I wake up
The first thing that I think of is you
I wonder what you’re doing
How you’re doing, if you thinkin’ of me too

Is it so wrong to want you, to want to love you?
Is it so wrong to need you, to need to be with you?

If love is so blind how come I can see you?
If reason is right then why don’t they believe you?
If faith is all you need then why do I still need you?
If sin is a crime then is it a sin to want you?

I try to look interested
But I must confess I don’t really care
About everything they say
Trying pull me away from you, from truth, cos they don’t care

Is it so wrong to want you, to want to love you?
Is it so wrong to need you, to need to be with you?

If love is so blind how come I can see you?
If reason is right then why don’t they believe you?
If faith is all you need then why do I still need you?
If sin is a crime then is it a sin to want you?

Why can’t they see?
I don’t care what they think
They can say what they won’t
It won’t change a thing
Why can’t they see?
We will always be together
Cos you said forever
And ever and ever

Is it so wrong to want you, to want to love you?
Is it so wrong to need you, to need to be with you?

If love is so blind how come I can see you?
If reason is right then why don’t they believe you?
If faith is all you need then why do I still need you?
If love is so blind how come I can see you?
If reason is right then why don’t they believe you?
If faith is all you need then why do I still need you?
If sin is a crime then is it a sin to want you?

If love is so blind how come I can see you?
---------------
I rock, don't I?

The Moment I Met You

Ah, the beauty of words. ^^ LOL.
I just finished this one. It's.. okay. :/
Nothing special but.. *shrugs* meh.

The Moment I Met You – Komal Josan

It’s a beautiful night
The stars sparkle so bright
It’s a beautiful night
You make things feel right

I knew from the moment I met you
There was something about you that stopped me from leaving
You could make my heart flutter
I couldn’t even muster the strength to walk away from you

So there I stood in total silence
You understood, looked into my eyes
And I just could not hold back from the look, that look

The look in your eyes
Filled with love, so bright
Then you kissed me goodnight
Oh, it felt so right
Don’t let go
I need you to know
Before you go
There’s something, something you should know

I knew from the moment I met you
There was something about you that struck me as odd
You knew how to pull all the right strings
You made my voice sing a totally different tune

And as I stood in total silence
I understood, I could not defy it
The fact that would destroy everything I thought I knew

The look in your eyes
Filled with love, so bright
Then you kissed me goodnight
Oh, it felt so right
Don’t let go
I need you to know
Before you go
There’s something, something you should know

I’ve tried to hide it
But I think it’s time that
You knew the truth
It’s only you who I’d tell it to

I knew from the moment I met you
There was something about you
I knew from the moment I met you
There was something about you

You had to be the one
Be the one I’d reveal myself to
You’ve got to be the one
Be the one who holds me close
Don’t let go

I knew from the moment I met you
La la la la la la la
La la la la la

Over My Head

It's almost the weekend! But then I 6 exams.. Great. I wonder if I'll be able to see him this weekend.. I wish I could. Need to ask if he can come. I hope the biking excuse still works.
Haha I rock.
And I'm bored.
Mind's working overtime.

When I'm Not With You (Complicated) - Komal Josan

Just something I wrote cos I was bored and really missing him.

When I'm Not With You (Complicated) - Komal Josan
I hate the way you make me feel
When I'm not with you
I can dream but dreams are not as real
As me and you

I wake up and go back to sleep
There's nothing to do
I count the days till we can meet
And think of an excuse

Lying and lying to be together
Loving and leaving one another

It's all so complicated
And only for a while
But it's all worth it
Just to see your smile
Your picture is fading
It needs to be renewed
I told you I'd hate it
When I'm not with you

I love the way you make me feel
When we're together
You kissed me to seal the deal
Saying you'll love me forever

Lying and lying to be together
Loving and leaving one another

It's all so complicated
And only for a while
But it's all worth it
Just to see your smile
Your picture is fading
It needs to be renewed
I told you I'd hate it
When I'm not with you

At first I said no way, not again
Not falling in love anymore
But then you said those things
And I was falling in love all over again

I don't want to get hurt
But I still wanna be your girl
Now we're in this too deep
And I need you with me

It's all so complicated
And only for a while
But it's all worth it
Just to see your smile
Your picture is fading
It needs to be renewed
I told you I'd hate it
When I'm not with you

Mocks

Starting from tomorrow, I have my Mocks. These are Mock IGCSE exams. I'm doing Math, English and French. I've been put in for the Core Paper in Math cos.. well, you know. Yeah, I know you do. You I know know. Don't deny it. So, yeah, anyways. Um.. *Looks around* OH YEAH: it's gonna be okay. Core's pretty easy. Jong says extended is easy too. Meh. I've done the past-papers. It's not that hard. I'll be able to ace it next year.
Gonna go to bed now.
Laters!
(Ooh, wish me luck).

"I'm miles from where you are.."

I told you he'd have a good excuse.

He spent most of his birthday on a plane back to France (in case you've forgotten he was in New York).

He's leaving for Poland soon. Sometime today. Maybe he's already left. I dunno.

I miss him.I'll see him soon though. Can't say when, but I will. Next week's gonna be hard. I dunno when he's coming back but still I've my Mocks starting from Monday and I still have so much homework to do. I have procrastinated too much. I knew I would. And I was right.

I tried finishing my Geography notes but ended up doodling all over my pad of paper. I have proof. *Holds up orange pad of paper given by Mrs Beynon* See? It's covered in doodles. There's hearts and Nick and Nicholas Martin everywhere.

Ooh ooh I've always wanted to say this:

*Clears throat*

Legal guardian, offcial boyfriend.

The kisses are legal, the sex is not.

Haha. I rock.

♥ Happy Birthday! ♥

I'm gonna copy what I wrote on my BeBo cos I can't be bovvered.

It's his birthday today. *Nods*
Can't seem to get hold of him though. *Nods solemnly*
I was hoping I'd get to see him today to er give him his er "birthday present". Yes..
But.. I dunno. He's always got a good excuse for replying late or not talking to me for a day or two eg. he was in hospital, work, his friend died, work, he had a car accident, work, his parents paid for him to go to New York, work and so on. As you can see he's a very busy person. Oh and I forgot; parties. *Nods*
Me very jealous. =(
But the last time he went out partying some girl came up to him, he later told me, and they got talking and she er wanted to er go home with him if ya get what I mean but he turned her down (phew). That was close. Cos, you know, he's a guy. And guys have er certain demands.Oh, what am I saying? Guys love sex. End of. And (from a guy's point of view) usually when a girl wants to er come home with you, you think yes, you've pulled, and gladly accept. But he's loyal and faithful. (I hope).
I wanna see him today. =( It's not fair. Nothing's fair. Life sucks. Nick has got to be the only good thing that's ever happened to me. He rocks. End of.
I love him vewwy vewwy much. *Nods*
Mm hm. Indeed, I do. I do, indeedy. Indeedy? :/ Hmm..
I WANT HIM! IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY FTW!
I won't tell you what age he is but I will tell you the second digit. _3.
He is _3 years old. Haha. Good luck with the guessing!
Loves you.
♥

Pretty self-explainatory.
I'd just like stress one thing: I WANT HIM SO FUCKING BAD IT HURTS.
There. I said it.
It's just I - I.. yeah.
*Looks around*
Er. Mm hm. *Nods*
*Fidgets with fingere, looks at feet*
I - I er.. I think I'm gonna go and er.. I'm gonna go. Yeah.
(I love him too much :/ *Shakes head*)
(It's unhealthy to stay away from him for so long)
(Nick=sweet, sexy, charming, hot, buff, fit, cool, smart, funny, sarcastic, impatient at times=so "me")

Fall

I'm bored. And instead of writing a song on boredom which would most probably go something like:
I am bored
You are bored
We are both bored
He is bored
She is bored
We are oh so bored
I have decided to write about.. dan dan dan! *Taps nose twice* You'll see.

Fall - Komal Josan
Maybe if I tried,
Once in a while, to fly
I guess I just might
Maybe, maybe, after some tries
Learn to fly
But I know I would fall
And lose it all
Woke up this morning filled with doubt
So many things for me to figure out
Looked at the sky so filled with clouds
Friends called to see if I could come out

But I don't feel like it today
My world seems so grey
I don't know how to make myself feel better

Maybe if I tried,
Once in a while, to fly
I guess I just might
Maybe, maybe, after some tries
Learn to fly
But I know I would fall
And lose it all

I take my seat at my desk
Hard to find anything in all this mess
I clear a path so the mess is less
I don't know what I'm doing, I confess

I don't feel like working today
My world just seems so grey (today)
I don't know if there's anything I can do to feel better

Maybe if I tried,
Once in a while, to fly
I guess I just might
Maybe, maybe, after some tries
Learn to fly
But I know I would fall
And lose it all

The uncertainty really gets to me
Cos I'm sure of anything
Or anyone, don't know who I can trust
I can't wait any longer but I know I must

I have to carry this burden
Despite it all
I cannot share an ounce of it
With another
There's no-one quite like him
I must wait

Maybe if I tried
Once in a while, to fly
I guess I just might,
Maybe, maybe, after some tries
Learn to fly
But I know I would fall
And lose it all

But if I tried to fly I'll fall, I know for sure
But despite it all, I'd like to try
I might fall in trying, but falling is not failing
Falling will mean that I have tried
It'll give me time to think about it all
Now I don't think I'd mind to fall

-------------
*Bows*
Thank you, thank you.