How I Shall Get Into CERN

First of all I shall briefly explain what CERN is.

Conseil Europeen pour la Recherche Nucleaire (European Center for Particle Physics) is the world's largest particle physics laboratory located in Geneva, Switzerland. The World Wide Web originated here - largely due to the efforts of Tim Berners-Lee but that's another story.

Now, back to how I shall get into CERN:

1. Read "Kidnapping for Radical Right-winged people (like Hitler)"


2. Kidnap a CERN member/employee


3. Find a way to shut him up


4. Demand access to the LHC and a petty ransome of €1 million


5. Get into CERN


6. Follow original plan (see "How I Shall Come Into Power")


7. Try not to get killed

There. Simple, innit? I wonder what would happen if anyone from CERN read this. I mean they did invent the WWW after all..