New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve. That wonderful time of year when everybody's happy, the snow falls making the night glitter and the fireworks display beautifies the night.

Oh, who am I kidding?

New Year's Eve. That annoying time of year when everybody's drunk and gets into fights, you freeze your butt off in the bloody cold, no sign of snow, perhaps some rain, the fireworks keep you awake all night and cause like a million bloody accidents cos of the drunken idiots that set 'em off.

Sorry if I spoilt your festive cheer and New Year's spirit. Here, have a fiver and go buy yourself some. (Gettit - spirit?).
Yeah, I know; I'm losing my touch. *Shakes head solemnly*
*Sighs*

The Cost Of Loving You

Just finished it. I dunno. It's okay, I guess. Bit different from what I usually think up.

The Cost Of Loving You – Komal Josan

She opens her eyes
Only to find
Not to her surprise
There he lies

She sits up
Looks by her side
Into his blue eyes
And tosses his arm aside

She feels no love, no hate
It’s like some sort of apathy
She does not know if it’s fate
It’s like she just cannot see

Does he love her?
He says he does
Should she believe him?
Is it genuine?
But when he touches her
And when he whispers
She sees so clearly
But pays so dearly too
The cost of loving you

He caresses her face
Not a trace
Of regret to be seen
On his face

He holds her hand
And she understands
What he demands
After all he is a man

She feels no love, no hate
It’s like some sort of apathy
She does not know if it’s fate
It’s like she just cannot see

Does he love her?
He says he does
Should she believe him?
Is it genuine?
But when he kisses her
And says he misses her
She sees so clearly
But pays so dearly too
The cost of loving you

They must remain discreet
She remembers
Walking hand-in-hand across the street
She remembers
When he’s with her, it feels right
When he’s gone, late at night
She remembers
The cost of loving him
She bears on her shoulders
The cost of loving him

She feels no love, no hate
It’s like some sort of apathy
She does not know if it’s fate
It’s like she just cannot see

Does he love her?
He says he does
Should she believe him?
Is it genuine?
How can she be sure he does?
How can she be sure she does?
Is this really love?
She wants to ask him if it’s love
Cos when he’s with her it feels right
And when he kisses her goodbye
She sees so clearly
But pays so dearly too
Oh the cost of loving you

He'll catch me if I fall

I'm not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you don't try
Not afraid to fall
I might just learn to fly and
I will spread these wings of mine

I'm not afraid to fall
And here I told you so
Don't want to rock the boat
But I just had to know
Just a greener side
Or can i touch the sky
But either way I will have tried

I'm not afraid to fall
I've fallen many times
They laughed when i fell down
But i have dared to climb
I'm not afraid to fall
I know I'll fall again but i can win this in the end
-Superchick "Get Up"

Close My Eyes (I'm Flying)

Guess who it's inspired by? ^^ <3

Close My Eyes (I’m Flying) – Komal Josan

I always felt an air of unreality
Every time I tried to imagine you with me
And today I could have never fathomed, see
I didn’t know it could be real

I close my eyes as you kiss my neck
Your touch feels nice, and you give me a peck
You hold my back and kiss me deep
It’s like I’m flying and I can’t see where I’m going
You’re in control, just don’t let go

You ask me if I’m okay, you hold my hand
I’m just too nervous but you understand
You say it’s okay, we’ll just take it slow
I make you promise to never let go

I close my eyes as you kiss my neck
Your touch feels nice, and you give me a peck
You hold my back and kiss me deep
It’s like I’m flying and I can’t see where I’m going
You’re in control, just don’t let go

You know me
You tease me
I never thought you could
But I beg you
And I try to
Refrain from telling you it’s good

I don’t know why
I’m not thinking straight
I touch the sky
But move back, I’m still afraid

I close my eyes as you kiss my neck
Your touch feels nice, and you give me a peck
You hold my back and kiss me deep
It’s like I’m flying and I can’t see where I’m going
You’re in control
You’re in control

I close my eyes as you kiss me deep
Your touch feels nice, and I can’t believe
Then you hug me tight and say you love me
It’s like I’m flying and I can’t see

I close my eyes
I’m flying

That Annoying Pass-time Game 2

I remember I said I'd start with the word "Fun" next time but I've decided to spice it up a bit, be adventurous and go for a four-letter word.
Here we go!

Kiss
Miss
Mist
Fist
List
Lust
Must
Mast
Last
Fast
Cast
Cart
Fart (lol)
Dart

I'm going to go finish my banana now. Remember everyone:
The point is look both ways before crossing the road and always carry a banana.

Best Day Ever

I love him. End of.
I'm so stupid! I forgot to tell him that! I was with him a few hours ago. *Nods*
He is cute! We kissed, made out and er.. yeah. No, wait, I shall write it. Nobody reads this anyway. We 69d. I'm not sure how you use 69 in a sentence but.. we did.
Came this close to making love but I chickened out. He said it's okay and he understood.
Besides, this gives him another reason to see me. ^^
I took some pics of him while we were driving back to where I parked my bike (all part of my oh so clever plan) so people believe me.
Can't write more, Mum's on the prowl.
Parents *sigh*

That Annoying Pass-time Game

I'm bored. So I have decided to play this game. It is the same game I played last night when I could not get to sleep.
It's simple really. You just start with a word and are only allowed to change one letter of that word to form another one.
For example:
Mat
Cat
Can
And so on. M from mat becomes C for cat. T from cat becomes the N for can. Got it? Then I'll begin.

Mat
Map
Sap
Sat
Fat
Fan
Man
Can
Cat
Cot
Lot
Lit
Tit (as in Blue Tit - the bird duh)
Mit
Fit
Fin
Fun

And I'm going to stop there. I'll start a new one starting with "Fun" next time. If you actually read that, well, then I feel you have a high threshold for boredom.
That will be all. For now. *Shifty look like that dog from The Simpsons*

Merry Christmas(!)

Yes, Christmas time is here yet again. It feels like just yesterday I was excited and eagerly anticipating my thirteenth birthday, I couldn't wait to be a teenager. And now, well, let's just say I'm not as eager. I do not care for Christmas but wish you a good one all the same.
Now, I know I don't get presents (sad, I know) but I know what I want for Christmas.

The Point

To carry on from where I left off; I shall tell you the point of everything. Please keep this in mind:
The point is look both ways before you cross the road and always carry a banana.
*Nods*
Knowlege is realising the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

It's just us against the world, love

Us Against The World - Komal Josan

Our friends, they laugh
The don't know the meaning of love
I watch as you stand for this crap
I know you feel the burn
It's crazy but I think
I should just go, take off with you
And maybe then I'd see
What it really means to live

Cos in the end it's us against the world
I didn't know anything before it
Won't know anything after
Cos in the end it's us who'll have the last laugh
We'd better decided fast
Cos it's now or never

It takes more than one
It takes a couple before you see
That you're missing all the fun
And the one for you, well he's
In love with you too
But you can't be too sure
Don't know what to believe
He doesn't how to prove he loves me

Cos in the end it's us against the world
I didn't know anything before it
Won't know anything after
Cos in the end it's us who'll have the last laugh
We'd better decided fast
Cos it's now or never

We've so long for this moment
Let's never forget it
I can't believe it's happening
It is so beautiful, babe
I'm so glad you're here for me
Like you'll always be

Cos in the end it's us against the world
I didn't know anything before it
Won't know anything after
Cos in the end it's us who'll have the last laugh
We'd better decided fast
Cos it's now or never
You know I love you
I know you love me too
And in the end it's just
Us against the world

They can laugh now but I know we'll always have the last laugh <3

I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. Aaaaaaaaand I'm bored.
I started doing my PE past-paper but didn't get most of the questions so I decided to check my Facebook and then couldn't stop. I worked on my novel a bit too. Wrote another page. Dunno where to take it now though.
While I was on Facebook, I was re-reading old messages and convos (conversations) between Nick and I. He is soo sweet!
Right now, I'm writing this, listening to music, downloading music and chatting to SJ.
Nick's got me hooked on Snow Patrol now. My recently added songs on iTunes are as follows:

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
Set The Fire To The Third Bar - Snow Patrol
Rule the World - Take That

Everything reminds me of him. Especially this bit from Hey There Delilah:
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
And we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time that we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Cadre: The Assassination

I'm bored. I've been working on my novel: Cadre: The Assassination. I'm nowhere near finished but I'm rather pleased with it so far. I haven't really planned the whole story out in detail.. okay, so I haven't planned it out at all but I've got a mental idea of how I want things to be. And I think it's more, how should I put this, "fun" this way. I mean, you never know how things are going to turn out even though you're the author. So, in a way, I'm making it up as I go along.

Cadre: The Assassination is a story of love, unrequited love and passionate love, murder (duh), betrayal, trust and confusion. The main character in the novel is Komal ^^. She's, well, she's me. Just a bit different. (Come on, it's a story! I'm allowed to play around with things!)

So, anyway, Komal gets a call in the middle of the night. She does not know who it is. The caller tells her to cooperate and get in a black car waiting outside. She refuses, of course. He's a stranger, after all. She runs to the master-bedroom to find her parents in a deep slumber (cholorform). She still refuses to go along so the caller decides to call for backup and she is carried off by The Man In The Black Suit (yes, I do love saying that!). She blacks out.

In the next chapter she wakes up in a strange room where everything is silver. She realises two other people are in the room with her; a man and a woman. She recognises the man as the caller. He says his name is Nick (no, this has nothing to do with the Nick I know for I wrote this before I even met him!) and the woman is Danielle. Nick goes on to tell her why she is here but, seeing as they're all tired, he tells her to get some rest. She cries herself to sleep.

The next time she wakes up, she is drenched in sweat. She can't stop thinking about the nightmare she had. She presses a black button on the side of the silver bed, like Nick told her to, and he enters. He begins to explain further of why she has been brought here and where 'here' is.
And that's as far as I've got. Chapter 3, page 6.
Oh, I forgot to mention the Prologue. It rocks. =) Just a bit of info the guy, Nick, searches for about Komal.

This is an extract from Chapter 1, page 3.

Seated in his cluttered desk, facing his high-tech monitor, he grinned; happy with himself. A woman shook her head from behind him.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she said.
He turned around, still grinning from ear to ear.
“She would have come to, you could have at least told her your name or who we were”
“It’s more fun this way,” he protested.
“It’s more dangerous this way,” she said and started walking towards the coffee maker where she stopped and turned to face him.
“Oh and one more thing,” she said. “Don’t mess her around”
He grinned again, of course he wouldn’t. She was to be one of them soon, anyway.

© Komal Josan 2007

Update

Dad finally agreed to let me go biking on two conditions: I didn't take the camera, and I was back in 20-30 minutes. The first I'm okay with, but 20 minutes is nothing! I guess you could say it's better than nothing but.. still.
I wonder what's up with Nick, he still hasn't replied. I hope everything's okay. I guess he's just busy..

I'm dead inside

I hate my life. Period. Everyone knows that.
But I hate my parents even more. I had the perfect plan! I spend so long perfecting it and now, now there's just no bloody use.
My parents always fuck it up. Everything fucking thing in my fucking life is fucked up. I'm fucked up. They say it's "for my own good". Yeah? Well, you know what, Mum, Dad? FUCK YOU!
Go to hell! All my friends are allowed to go out alone, why can I go biking? It's not bloody fair! I'd only be out for like an hour or even less!
My Dad said I can go if he comes with me. But I just want to be alone! Why can't they see that?? I hate them!
I think I'm going to go through depression again.. I just need some time to myself, to chill, relax, be alone (for once), take the pain and stress away. The least they can do is grant me that, isn't it? After all, I'm already supposed to be doing the Mocks along with the MY5s, aren't I? It's so not fair! Just half and hour! 'S all I'm asking! I just want to feel like I have a bit of freedom for once!

Even Better!

I can't believe it! I can't believe it!!
Just waiting for a reply, then I'll fill you in on everything. ;)

Quaint Fainting

I ROCK. Totally.
Guess who just got herself a date? Uh huh.
Go Komi, almost your birthday, still gonna party like it's your birthday.
Oh, God, I seriously can't wait! I think I'm gonna die.
*Faints*

Okay, okay, I'm being serious now. Oops, guess I'll have to fill you in on the details later as my Mum's hovering round me and I don't want her to catch wind of this. She'll tell Dad and then he'll interrogate me and it'll all come out and end before it's even started.

I Love You (unfinished cos I can't be bothered)

I Love You (Unfinished) - Komal Josan

I never ever thought I could feel this way
Until you came along
Now I'm thinking different, it's so perfect
I'm just so glad you're gonna stay
With me forever
I don't want anything to change, it's so innocent

I can't believe
Out of every other girl in the world
You chose me
It's weird how the truth unfurls
You come around and without a sound
You kiss my lips and I'm in pure bliss
I love everything you do
But most of all I love you

Happy, happy

On another note, I taught myself how to play Happy Birthday on the keyboard again and Caroline taught me a rather cheery tune. Happy, happy. Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine, just fine.

Stress!!

Exam stress
Family stress
School stress
Friend stress
Love stress
Life stress
ARGH!
I'm going to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie. I swear, it's unbearable! TOO MUCH BLOODY STRESS!
First I thought it was just the mocks that were freaking me out, now it's my whole entire life that needs sortin'. SJ (initials duh) really opened my eyes and the stuff he said really got me thinking. Let's make a list of stuff I need to sort (out).

• Myself.
• My life.
• School stuff.
• My love-life.
• My friends.

I think that pretty much covers it. My parents have been shouting at me for aages to revise, do my homework but when I counter them with the argument that I've done my homework and I'm on a break they simply look over my shoulder to see what I'm doing. I can't get a moment's peace! PRIVACY, PEOPLE!! I mean, hello! It's my life! I can do what I want with it! They had no right to go snooping around in my math book! They probably noticed the hearts and stuff cos they've been acting weird ever since..

I should go. It's getting rather quiet. Too quiet.

I wish I had Photoshop. Then this pic would rock. Totally.

Like this one. Totally. Parents suck.

Psyche! Psyche! Psyche!

Hallelujah!

The hols are almost here!!
Wooooo! Wednesday lunchtime, school's out! And I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!Well, I would be if I didn't have all this homework.

• A chapter of Geography; notes and questions.
• Past PE IGCSE paper.
• Past Geography IGCSE paper.
• Revision: Math.
• Revision: Geography (test Monday).
• Revision: Science.
• And a load of other bits and bobs I can't really remember right now.

If I fail I am doomed. If I suceed I am still doomed. For I am Komal. I shall always be doomed to failure unless.. unless..

Oh how I crave him.

XxX Kisses XxX

I know what I want for my birthday, I also know I can't have it and it hurts so bad. I can't go on like this. Oh the pain, the agony. I fear leaving Belgium and not being able to say goodbye. Kiss goodbye. It's like whenever he ends his texts/messages/emails whatever with XxXxX or Kisses or Love ya I just die. He is soo sweet and ever so romantic. He geniunely cares. Not like other guys. You know, I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't fall in love again until I was sure I could handle it. So then when I first met him and he asked if he could go out with me I said no. I could see he was devastated but he said it was my decision and if that's what I wanted he would just have to accept it. We got talking and soon I ended up giving him my phone number. I tried to deny the fact that I had feelings for him but in the end he was just too irresistible. God, how I tried to get him out of my head. But he was everywhere. I couldn't block him out for a second. Next thing I know, I'm telling him I love him. Sheesh.
Note to self: never hide your feelings.
You can't choose who you fall for. I just wish it didn't hurt so much. I should stop now. I still have to do my Geography homework and this is just killing me. I mean, writing about it does make it a bit better, in a way. But it still hurts.

The Winter Show!

It was okay, I guess. Just a bit of fun. Great to see everybody there! Sengy, Mary, Maxine, Ognev!! Wooooooooooo! It was really funny, too. Especially the dance. We rocked. Check out my

Facebook for more pics. I'll add a few here but I can't be bovvered.

The Sound Engineer was so damn cute! I can't believe Dad didn't film Henny or whoever it was that thanked him, he was so bloody cute!

He so totally looks like Nick! Except Nick's taller, has brown hair, and blue eyes, and doesn't show his boxers as often as I know he'd like to ^^. But apart from that..
♥ He was soo hot!! I think I'm going to die! ♥

Yes, well. Back to some more pics, as promised.

That's me on the train back to Zaventem and the warm sanctuary of my tiny little flat. I like this pic. HEY! Brainstorm: I could use this pic for the school calendar!

Note to self: remember to ask Jerome. I'm off now. So cold. So bored. Need rest. Need Nick. Need some sweet lovin'. ^^

I shall kill you..

I swear I shall kill you. I shall kill you so bad you die.
I totally love saying that! But I'm serious, I shall kill you.
And I know how. You know I know how. I know you know I know how. And you know I know you know how. I know you know I know you know how. And you know I know you know I know you know how.. Confused? Muahahaha. Just goes to show how much power and authority I have over you. I rawk. Totally.
You are doomed for I shall kill you. I shall kill you so bad you die.

My shadow's only one that walks beside me

I'm walking down the road
Of doom and I walk alone
I don't know where to go
So lost and so alone

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
I feel so down and lost and I can't find me
If only I could open my eyes and see
The truth in front of me

I'm walking to some guy
Standing in the road, I ask him why
He's holding up that sign
Saying "I need help, I'm not alright"

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
I feel so down and lost and I can't find me
If only I could open my eyes and see
The truth in front of me

I'm getting out of line
So they say, I can't find
All the reasons why
Why, why
I don't know why

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
I'm feeling down and lost and I can't find me
If only I could see
Oh
If only I could see
The truth in front of me
The maybe
My shadow wouldn't be what walks beside me
I'd feel alright cos I'd know that he would find me
Whenever I fell and then I would believe
Cos he'd walk with me
Then I'd see
The truth in front of me

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams was stuck in my head and I randomly started typing the lyrics out and wrote my own parody.

Unrequited again?

I miss the love, the interaction, the feeling. Haven't spoken to him in 3 days and counting. It feels like 3 years. I wonder if it's something to do with the op.. But I thought it was supposed to be tomorrow or Friday.. Hmm. I wish I knew. I wish I could help. I wish I could be there. I wish I could be with him. I wish I was with him right this very second. I wish I could see him, just a glimpse would suffice. Is that too much to ask? All I want is a minute, a second. *Sigh* I wish my parents were more lenient. Then I could see him anytime, anywhere. Well, within reason.
What am I doing? I'm writing to a computer. That or strangers but no-one reads this blog so..
Yeah.
I'm going crazy; seriously, it's driving me mad. Don't wanna be lugubrious. Need him. =(

No-one understands,
No-one really knows.
No-one gives a damn,
Not that it shows.
Everyone forgets,
Everyone ignores.
Everyone regrets,
But not before they go.

Just a short poem I just thought up. Dunno what to think anymore. Doesn't really matter as whenever my mind drifts off, it always seem to find him. And then I get lost in him, drown in his memory. Wow, is that deep or what?

How I Shall Get Into CERN

First of all I shall briefly explain what CERN is.

Conseil Europeen pour la Recherche Nucleaire (European Center for Particle Physics) is the world's largest particle physics laboratory located in Geneva, Switzerland. The World Wide Web originated here - largely due to the efforts of Tim Berners-Lee but that's another story.

Now, back to how I shall get into CERN:

1. Read "Kidnapping for Radical Right-winged people (like Hitler)"


2. Kidnap a CERN member/employee


3. Find a way to shut him up


4. Demand access to the LHC and a petty ransome of €1 million


5. Get into CERN


6. Follow original plan (see "How I Shall Come Into Power")


7. Try not to get killed

There. Simple, innit? I wonder what would happen if anyone from CERN read this. I mean they did invent the WWW after all..

How I Shall Come Into Power

Hitler decided against violence and opted for power through parliament but I have found another "easier" way out. My plan so far is:

1. Go to CERN
2. Use the LHC (Large Hardon Collider) particle accelerator to split an atom, creating antimatter
3. Suspend the highly unstable antimatter in a canister of some sort
4. Use the antimatter as a weapon of mass destruction
5. Threaten the leaders of the free world with it
6. Bomb anyone who opposes me
7. Rule the world.

See? It even ends at point 7 - my favourite number. And that is how I shall come into power and finally rule the world. Now I just have to figure out how to get into CERN..

Perfect

Perfect - Komal Josan

Why does everybody think I have everything?
Nobody really knows
I can't ever think a single thing
Without thinking of you

You're the only one I know
Who really understand me
You're the only one who sees
Me for what I am not what I could be

I'm not perfect
I'm not normal
I am not "it"
I don't understand
I don't get it
I can't find it
I always forget
And cannot comprehend

Everybody seems to feel that I know it all
What do they know?
I've got trouble they could never understand cos I can't
Either, I need ya

You're the only one I know
Who really understand me
You're the only one who sees
Me for what I am not what I could be

I'm not perfect
I'm not normal
I am not "it"
I don't understand
I don't get itI can't find it
I always forget
And cannot comprehend

I can study all my life
I can lock myself up in my room
With the light on, and try to forget
But I can't block you out
Of my mind, no I can't
I'd rather die than go on without you
Cos I'm so in love with you

You're the only one I know
Who really understand me
You're the only one who sees
Me for what I am not what I could be

I'm not perfect
I'm not normal
I am not "it"
I don't understand
I don't get itI can't find it
I always forget
And cannot comprehend

You're the only one I know
Who sees me for what I am

Franglais

Salut!
Je vais te parler de un de mes meilleurs amis. Il s'appelle Nicholas et il habite en France. Il a les cheveux bruns et les yeux bleues. Il est super sympa, dynamique, drôle, intelligent, mature, et super cool! Il est trés populaires et je suis toujours jaloux parce-que il a beacoup des amies (des filles). Eh bien, tout le monde sait que je l'aime. Mais c'est trés compliqué. Tout les gens veut savoir quel âge a t-il, que fait-il.. etc. Il parle français, mais il est anglais et il n'a pas l'accent française et les sons drôle quand il parle français. On s'amuse beacoup parce-que on a beacoup des choses en commun. On est pas trôp différents. Je vais faire quel-que chose d'autre maintenant. J'ai pas quoi mais je m'en fou et parler français bugs me.
Wooo je can't believe je wrote french pour tout that temps! J'adore talking franglais - c'est le best langue!
Biz,
Komal

Blinded By Darkness

Blinded By Darkness - Komal Josan

I’m falling into darkness
It’s all I can see
The Forces of Darkness
Whatever they may be
I don’t know where I’m going
Or where I’m really from
My only hope lies in forgetting
And letting in someone

I can’t find my way around
Everything’s so dark
Maybe I don’t want to be found
But still I leave my mark
It’s like a trail for everyone
Who thought they knew me before
Before I fell in darkness
And existed no more

I wish to find something
But what that thing may be
I haven’t the foggiest
Maybe someday I shall see
But before all that
I know there’ll come a day
When I’ll forget and be forgotten
And slowly start to fade

------------
I had to write something, I can't keep it all bottled up. I love him so much. =(

*Beep*

Facebook Maniaaaaaaaaa. So addicted. No homework. Wooooooooooooo! At least it was good until I found out Nick's in hospital. =( Meh. Something bad had to happen. Come on, this is me, isn't it? There's always something, always a catch. And it was going so well and all!
*Sigh*
Fuck this shit, I'm off. Soz for the obscenity, Jérôme, but I can't take fuck anymore.

Tests Over! (Well, almost)

Tests

1. Science
2. Math
3. French

The first part of the French test is done but we still have another part to do on Monday. Overall, the tests today were pretty easy. Math bah well, I finished with like 20 mins left so.. yeah. And French was just about Mon/Ma Meilleur Ami(e), the last bit asked us to write about our best friend and since I had so many, I decided to go for Nick. Yes, well, predictable, I know. I can't help it!

5 Reasons To Be Sick

1. You get to miss school.
2. No homework.
3. You get to stay in bed all day with your parents waiting on you.
4. You usually get what you want.
5. You get to go see your totally hot doctor*.

*If you have one. If you don't, sucks for you, and if you do woooooo! ♥

I Need You!

I want piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. But where the hell am I going to get the 3.14159265th part of a cayk.. or pie??
I'm sick. Nick was sick. But he has epilepsy. Now it's my turn. But I don't have epilepsy. I have a cold. *Nods*
Oh, and I've lost my voice - which is why I didn't go to school - so if you find it please give it back to me. Please don't blackmail me for it. (€10 and that's my final offer!)
Nah, I love my voice. I can't sing without it!! How am I to launch a singing career without a voice! But at least I can still write songs. Hmm. Yeah.

Talking In Whispers

Talking In Whispers - Komal Josan

He hears the shot but what happens next?
He mind is blocked, he can’t make any sense
What the hell’s wrong? Why can’t I move?
I remember that song, it alters my mood
The songs they sang are now not even whispered
It’s ‘cause they are banned, everyone’s talking in whispers

Nobody looks anyone in the eye
And not even I can defy
I’m scared of them and their brutal ways
I hang my head in despair and dismay
They’ve changed everything, it’s all their rules
They deem the Resistance pitiful fools
I think of my father and how I must save him
There is no other who was ever as brave

His memory goes blank, is this the end?
He tries to open his eyes but the message won’t send
His brain is not working, it won’t obey
All his commands just go to waste
He tries to move his arm but it won’t budge
Maybe this is the end, it was just too much

--------
Well, my pessimistic side had to kick in sometime, didn't it? This poem started out like the other "Not My Business"s but ended up as "Talking In Whispers". Don't ask me why.
I'm going to bed. 'Night!

Not My Business 4

Fourth and final Not My Business poem by yours truly!

The phrase echoes in his mind
As he reaches out to what he needs to find
The hands he meets is not ones seeks
They’re the hands of strangers; there’s a fire in their eyes

Who are these people? Can they be trusted?
They’re Beto and Isa, and, nowadays, who can be trusted?
Everyone has to look after themselves
No-one else left, not their business

He reaches out to the inner depths
He needs to see for himself
But like the old woman said
It’s not my business
It’s not my business

Not My Business 3

Third go:

His mind is stuck on the same sentence
(Not my business
Not my business)
He can’t get it unstuck; it’s all he’s thinking
(Not my business)
Not my business?

He knows he can’t give up, but where to next?
(Not my business
Not my business)
Who can he really trust, who’s really with him?
(Not my business)
Not my business?

He asked the old woman if she knew anything
But all she said was, “Not my business”
Is this what’s happening all over town?
All over Chile? It’s all going down?
Are the Junta taking over?
Are they here to stay?
Won’t somebody stop them?
Make it all go away

Not My Business (second go)

Not My Business 2 (my fave, I think)

Louder and louder
The voice, it taunts him
It’s losing its meaning
But it still controls him
The same three words
Play over and over
Until he’s lost and confused
And in their power

But he mustn’t give up
He cannot lose hope
He’s all that he’s got
More he doesn’t know
There’s Beto and Isa
They claim to be his friends
But who can he trust?
When will this end?

Louder and louder
The voices in his head
Whispers taunting
All the words she said
The old woman from the house
Said, “Not my business”
Andres is trapped now
But it’s not my business

Not My Business

Some poems I wrote for English. Based on the novel Talking In Whispers by James Watson.
My first go:

He knocks on the door
But nobody answers
He knocks some more
But still there’s no answer
Horacio’s family are gone
And old woman tells him so
He thinks about the danger
But decides to move on before

Before the Junta find him
And take him like his father
Before their brutality kills him
Or maybe some other
Like the innocents they shot
They weren’t causing any bother
But the Junta didn’t care
For them they were as any other

He thinks of the old woman
And of what she said
When he asked her what she knew
She replied, “Not my business”
Is this what we’ve become?
He ponders as he walks
It might be so, but I’m not like some
Who cower away and daren’t talk

I shall rebel and not give in
No matter what they throw at me
I’ll take what I’m given
Beto and Isa agree with me
Should I really put them in danger?
He thinks to himself
But they said they were my friends
He tries not to dwell

Interview With Energizer Bunny AKA Fred

I have reason to believe that Energizer Bunny is evil. I took an Energizer element sample, added a few bits and bobs and discovered another isotope of Energizer. I call it Energizer 13/6. I went to interview Energizer Bunny to ask him how he felt about this.

Me: So, Energizer Bunny, how do you feel about this?
EB: For the last time: my name is Fred!
Me: Yes.. alright, Fred. How do you feel about this?
Fred: I feel it is an outrage! How dare-
Me: Go fluffy and run up and down. Go on!
Fred: What? I've told you, I get paid to-
Me: Oh, go on!
Fred: No.
Me: Please?
Fred: No.
Me: For me?
Fred: No.
Me: Pleeeeeeease?
Fred: No!
Me: I'll scream!
Fred: ALRIGHT!
Fred puts on his battery pack, fluffs himself up and starts running up and down the room.
Fred: Happy? *Out of breath*
Me: Very.
Pause.
Me: Now if only you could-
Fred: Get out.
Me: Just a min-
Fred: GET OUT!
Fred punches Me, rendering Me unconscious.

NEWSFLASH: ENERGIZER BUNNY HAS BEEN ARRESTED, CHARGED WITH BATTERY.

Tests Galore

Science test tomorrow. *Nods*
And a Drama rehearsal at lunch time. *Nods*
No lunch break = no free time, no last-minute-revision time, no Nick time.
O.o
Yeah.

We've Come So Far (Complete)

We've Come So Far (Complete) - Komal Josan

Just last year I was sitting
Waiting for something
Someone to come save me
Save me from what?
I don't know

Just last month before you
Came and changed my whole
Life forever, and you saved me
Saved from everything
I know

You could be the one
I spend my whole life with
I die with
You are my only one
I plan to keep you
Never leave you
Don't ever go
I love you so

Don't you see how far
We've come from where
Ever we started from
I needed you
You needed me

I still can't believe
You really mean all those things
That you say about me
I still need you
You still need me

You could be the one
I spend my whole life with
I die with
You are my only one
I plan to keep you
Never leave you
Don't ever go
I love you so
We've come so far, so soon
Don't leave me now (don't leave me)
You showed me the stars and moon
What did I give you (in return)?

But you still want me
You don't care for material things
And you still love me
Just the way that I am

Oh
We've come so far (echo)
From what we used to be

You used to be desperately
In need of something
Or someone and that was me

Now I've you, you have me
We're complete
Finally

~♥x♥ Love ♥x♥~

Love - Komal Josan
So besotted, smitten
Head over heals in love
So distorted, my vision's
I guess I'm just too love-struck
You see this, you've done it
I can't believe it myself
"I see, miss, so it's my fault
That we've fallen in love?"

Oh no no

Baby, can't you see
Everything you're doing to me
Said, baby, can't you feel
The love we've got, the feeling's so real
Everything we've ever dreamed of
It's all coming true, slowly
Everything you've ever wanted
I can give it to yo-o-u, I can give it to you
If you give me your love
(Don't stop giving me)

So obsessed, I'm a mess
And, yeah, it's your fault
"That you're happy, and you're with me
If that's what you mean, then I agree"
Yeah okay then, overreacting
You've got such a hold on me
Oh so speechless, lost for words yeah
You're doing all this to me (and then some)

Baby, can't you see
Everything you're doing to me
Said, baby, can't you feel
The love we've got, the feeling's so real
Everything we've ever dreamed of
It's all coming true, slowly
Everything you've ever wanted
I can give it to yo-o-u, I can give it to you
If you give me your love
(Don't stop giving me)

Don't stop giving me your love
But don't start thinking it's all I'm worth
You mean more than everything in my life put together
If only you could see how much you really mean to me

Baby, can't you see
Everything you're doing to me
Said, baby, can't you feel
The love we've got, the feeling's so real
Everything we've ever dreamed of
It's all coming true, slowly
Everything you've ever wanted
I can give it to yo-o-u, I can give it to you
If you give me your love
(Don't stop giving me)

Don't stop giving me
Don't stop giving, giving
Don't stop giving me
Your love

Oh and Nick:
I so love you more!

Lugubrious No More

Lugubrious No More - Komal Josan

You read the note for the thousandth time
Noting how he makes it rhyme
Noting how the words he writes
Mean so much more, you can't deny
You feel tears forming behind your eyes
You're coming out from the place you hide

Everything you ever knew
Has all changed and now so are you
Ever since he came to you
You're a different person, for the good
You're reminded of him in all you do
Everything you write is happy, too

What a change from how it used to be
You were so aloof and lonely
Now it seems you're yourself again
The person you knew you had within
And every time they roll their eyes
You remember he is on your side

Truth And Lies

Truth And Lies - Komal Josan

The plain truth twists into malicious lies
More than one, beautified
They walk together, side by side
Truth and lies, truth and lies

It's strange to see how easily
A little white lie gratifies
Those it affects are totally fine
They don't know that it's a lie

Like when guys prettify
The truth soon turns into lies
They walk together, side by side
Truth and lies, truth and lies

Your friend buys an ugly tie
And asks you if they look alright
You say, yeah, they look alright
They walk away with a smile

Regret, remorse increases in size
As you bottle it up deep inside
Every truth, every lie
Tucked into a corner of your mind

Get Well Soon!

Aw, Nick's sick today. Must be why he didn't call me. Don't exactly know what's wrong cos it's hard for him to type. I told him to leave it and get some rest so I expect he'll be in bed right now. I hope he get's well soon, really, I do. It's like when he's sick I feel odd too.

My blog.. with a cherry on top!

I just posted this on my BeBo (http://www.bebo.com/KomalJ3) and I kinda like it, it's kinda funny(.. with a cherry on top!).

My blog is super duper awesome.. with a cherry on top!
It tastes pretty good too. Kind of like cake.. with a cherry on top!
So check it out please.. pretty pleeeeease.. with a cherry on top!
I like cherries.. with a cherry on top!
I also like oranges.. with a cherry on top!
I adore poking Jongy.. with a cherry on top!
And last, but certainly not least, I love Nick.. with all my heart! I mean: with a cherry on top!

It's weird cos I don't really like cherries all that much. It must be Nick messing with my mind again. He controls it like he does every other part of me. I control him too. It's strange, I know, but it's like this psychic thing we have. Must be love, I guess. Hmm.

Tooo muuuch homewoooork

Too.. much.. homework.. argh.. Geography.. graphs.. wth??
Can't.. cope.. tired.. dizzy.. need.. to.. rest.. need.. to..
*Faints*
Okay, so I'm being a tad melodramatic but I've got too much homework! I mean, come on, three work sheets in one subject? I was sick over the weekend so I have to do it all today, for tomorrow. *Groan*
The first sheet was easy, the second was.. harder, the third takes ages! Maybe it's just me but.. *sighs* whatever, no one reads this, do they?
I.. need.. him!!
O.o Not relevant, I know, but I neeeeeeeeeed him!

Wooooooooo!

No school tomorrow - I can have a nice lie-in and pester Nick! What fun!
Muahaha I can relaaax and enjoy myself while he's stuck in Paris. Meh.
I'm so lucky ^^. Hehe.
EDIT: But I'd enjoy myself more if I was with him. Great I'm missing him even more now. =(

The story goes on..

The Story Goes On - Komal Josan

Watch the world as it twirls and it sways
And all the people go work or play
But anyways, in either case
Everybody's going insane

You must conform and do as you're told
You watch and observe yourself growing old
But one day you know it's all gonna go
But you can't do anything but watch it unfold

And so the story goes on
And on and on and on
It's driving me mad, around the bend
I just wish it would end
But still the story goes on
And on and on and on
I'm watching everybody do the same things over again
Again, again, again

I'm tired and cold and lost inside
I'm sick of all these sleepless nights
I don't know what it is I have to find
I just wish it were mine

And so the story goes on
And on and on and on
It's driving me mad, around the bend
I just wish it would end
But still the story goes on
And on and on and on
I'm watching everybody do the same things over again
Again, again, again

Again, you push the replay button
Again, you watch it all happen
Again, I really need to get a life sometime soon
Again, I've missed the action
Again, I've lost the satisfaction
Again, I really need to get a life, satisfy, hold my pride, feel alive
(Again)

I'm tired and cold and lost inside

And so the story goes on
And on and on and on
It's driving me mad, around the bend
I just wish it would end
But still the story goes on
And on and on
And on and on
And so the story goes on
And on and on and on
It's driving me mad, around the bend
I just wish it would end
But still the story goes on
The story goes on

Useless Homework Excuses

roflmao! ^^

-I couldn't write yesterday afternoon, I don't understand it, my hand just refused to write. I don't know what got into it, it was like it had a mind of its own, it just wouldn't respond to what I told it to do.

-I couldn't find my mind... I was sure I had it backed up on a disk somewhere, but I just couldn't find it yesterday.

-My boyfriend's dog looked so lonely yesterday, I didn't have the heart to leave him all alone, so I decided to spend some time with him. I lost track of time, and by the time I finally got to my homework, I realised my dog had licked my hand so much that it had become paralyzed.

-I had a very difficult choice to make: go to the beach with friends, or sit and do my homework.

I chose to go to the beach, because my friends are more important to me than your homework will ever be.

-I did do it all, but before I got a chance to save, my book crashed and I lost it all.

-My pen ran out of ink, so I went to buy another pen, but I got lost on my way back and eventually got taken home by a tourist who luckily had a map with him. By that time it was late, and I tried my pen but I found it was a dud, and I couldn't go back again or I would never find my way home.

Source: www.school-survival.net

If I Believed

Just a little something I thought up a few minutes ago.

If I Believed - Komal Josan

From the darkest corners of some hell
Or the brightest memory
I can’t remember how I fell
Or why did I believe

You asked me if I wanted to see
Did I believe, I said I didn’t but I wanted to
You made me believe and I thought it was real
I thought everything was possible
If I believed

I pick up an old photograph
I thought I’d packed it away
It’s a picture of you and I
I really thought you would stay

You asked me if I wanted to see
Did I believe, I said I didn’t but I wanted to
You made me believe and I thought it was real
I thought everything was possible
If I believed

I’d never trust just anyone
With you I thought it was different but
When you got in you couldn’t get out

You were stuck with me, and I believed
I believed
That you were it, my everything
My everything, my every

You asked me if I wanted to see
Did I believe, I said I didn’t but I wanted to
You made me believe and I thought it was real
I thought everything was possible
If I believed I wanted to see
I could do just about anything
You and me, we would be
Cos you said everything’s possible
If I believed
If I believed
If I believed

Cayk

I see dead people..
..I must be drunk.
This is odd as I do not drink.

And I was like whoa dude who stole my cayk?
I replied I'm naming no names man but I'm pretty sure it's Sam. Whoa that's rhymes. Totally.
-Radical dude.
Thanks man.
-No problemo dude got any more cayk?
Nah, Sam ate it.
-Aw man that sucks.
Totally dude.
-Did you just say dude man?
Nope I said dude dude.
-No you said dude man.
I'm pretty sure I said dude dude.
-Dude man
Dude dude
-Dude man
Cayk!
Where? *Looks around* Aw man don't do that! I hate these narrator dudes don't you dude?
-Totally.
Did you just say totally man?
-No I said totally dude.
What is up with you people!
D'you understand what he's saying man?
-I thought the narrator was a girl man.
A girl man? :o
I am not a girl man! I am simply a girl!
*They look blankly*
Girl.. chick!
Oh chick.
-Oh chick.
Chick dude. That's like totally awesome.
-Yeah totally.
*Gets up and leaves*
Like finally dude I thought she'd never leave.
-Yeah man like we're so alone now.
I don't like being alone.
-Hey dude me neither! Hey narrator chick, come back!

International Day

Yes, I know it was yesterday but I had no time to write about it yesterday cos I had a lot of homework and I was on Facebook alot.

It was fun (International Day not the homework), but since we're the oldest we had to go down to eat last. :( But, fortunately, we still got enough food and it was all delish! I brought in 2 boxes of samosas and by the time we went down to the Art/IT room there were only like 6 left.

I brought my camera to school so we could fool around and snap some pics of ourselves in our traditional outfits. I've go loads of photos on Facebook if you wanna see more. Well, I say loads but I mean like 15-20.

Yes, as I said before, 'twas fun.

But cos of it we missed some of our lessons.. I'll leave you to think for yourself whether that was good or bad. ^^

Ow!

I stubbed my toe on my desk today and at first I thought the nail was just a tad chipped but then I noticed the red and realised it was bleeding. I cut off all I could with a nailcutter (duh) and disinfected it with, well, disinfectant (duh). It's still a bit red and sore but it doesn't hurt. It's cool.
Mmm.. blood.

Far Away - Nickelback

This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know

[CHORUS]

[Bridge]
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

The things I'd do for him

I would walk a couple of hundred miles
Just to catch a glimpse of your smile
And although it may take a while
I'd be ready to sacrifice
Every little bit of my life
Just to have a little time
With you

I just wrote this. For no particular reason. ^^ But there is a reason behind it, kinda.

The Bazaar

The intoxicating smell of exotic spices can be smelt throughout the street. But as you begin to walk further, a sweet, flowery smell hits you. Yes, indeed they are flowers, and in every colour too – pink, white, yellow, orange, red, blue, violet. You move to the next stall, thankful for its sun awning providing shade and shelter from the scalding heat of the sun – a magnificent yellow ball of fire with a backdrop of red and orange behind to complement it. You see that this is a cloths stall, with every type of cloth imaginable. You reach forward and touch the silk, noting its smooth, velvety feel. Lying beside it, on a tattered old wooden table, is a carpet. Beautifully decorated it may be, it is very rough and bumpy. You sneeze as the dust from the carpet settles atop your nose. You wander out, back into the scorching heat. The stall you stop at next displays various knick-knacks. A strange-looking birdcall catches your eye. You pick it up for a closer look, taken aback by its smooth, silky feel. You have never seen anything like it before and find it rather mesmerising. You give it a blow and are amazed at the beautiful sound it produces. You ask the peculiar-looking stallholder how much it costs.
“10 rupees,” he replies in a surprising shrill voice. You pay him and meander around the street some more, pleased with your purchase but with no intention of spending any more money.

This was (well, is) my English homework. We had to write a paragraph about a street in the summer using all senses (sight, sound, smell, touch/feel, taste). Damn, that reminds me - I forgot taste. Nevermind.. It's a rather long paragraph but now that I have found my inspiration again ^^ I couldn't stop writing! It all just came pouring out of the deepest corners of my head. Places I couldn't find before, places that were lost to me and now open, found, waiting to be explored. What to do with my new-found knowledge? Well, it's not really new-found but it does contain skills I forgot I had. I'm blabbering on here. Enough for now, me thinks.

Just a minute in exchange for a lifetime

A Minute (In Exchange For A Lifetime) - Komal Josan

It's funny how everything can change in a moment
It's funny how a moment can change everything
I know deep inside I have some sort of secret longing
I'm no longer in doubt, I know for sure I want it

Every minute that we lose
Is but a part of me and you
I can't wait to see you again
Every day that goes by
And I don't see you, but I don't cry
I know in time everything'll be alright
Cos you said in time you'd make everything alright

I can't wait to see you, to feel your lips on mine
I've dreamt it, I've felt it, I know it deep inside
I need you, I breathe you, your love I can't deny
I see you everywhere, but when I look you're nowhere to find

Every minute that we lose
Is but a part of me and you
I can't wait to see you again
Every day that goes by
And I don't see you, but I don't cry
I know in time everything'll be alright
Cos you said in time you'd make everything alright

None of this makes sense
It's all so hard to explain
But I don't care
Cos you said you'd be there
And I believe in you
This could be it
Yes, it has to be it
The feeling's so strong
With you I belong
I do believe it's true

I love you

Every minute that we lose
Is but a part of me and you
I can't wait to see you again
Every day that goes by
And I don't see you, but I don't cry
I know in time everything'll be alright

Every minute, every moment that passes without you
Is just a small part, a very small part of the life I'm gonna be spending with you

Every minute that we lose
Is but a part of me and you
I can't wait to see you again
Every day that goes by
And I don't see you, but I don't cry
I know in time everything'll be alright
Cos you said in time you'd make everything alright
Yeah, a minute don't matter
Cos you said in time you'd make everything alright

Not Good Enough?

My parents and I just had another fight about school. They have just realised I am but a normal teen with a normal teen-y brain, and normal teen-y thoughts. We were correcting my Science test and my Dad's like "Oh, it MUST be in the book" so we look it the book and what do we find? "See, didn't you read this, Komal?"
"No, Dad. I only read what she told us to"
"Change your attitude, you should read everything. You've had a week off school, you should be doing some learning"
"But Dad I need time to rest, relax"
"You've had plenty of rest, you never study, if you keep on doing this you're going to get nowhere, you must study, I didn't think of you like this, you should know all this, I haven't studied this for years, you should always read the book, didn't you revise for the test.." bla bla bla.
It's doing my head in!
Leave me alone!! I'm just a normal teenage girl, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!
I can't HELP the fact I daydream and sing 'stead of doing homework. I can't help the fact I'd rather sing and doodle in my sketchbook than draw 'observational sketches' of a f***ing piece of paper.
I've f***ing had enough of this f***ing crap.
What do you expect from me, Dad? Am I supposed to be this know-it-all whizz-kid who has nothing better to do than - oh, what's the use?
I give up.

So Far Away

Some lyrics I like/love to go with how I'm feeling right now.

I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

-Nickelback "Far Away"

Baby I don't wanna waste another day
Keepin it inside, it's killing me
Cause all I ever wanted comes right down to you
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you, every time you leave
I'm inconsolable
-Backstreet Boys "Inconsolable"

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
-Maroon 5 "She Will Be Loved"

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
-Avril Lavigne "Innocence"

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
-Avril Lavigne "When You're Gone"

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
My dirty little secret
Who has to know

The way she feels inside
Those thoughts I can't deny
These sleeping dogs won't lie
And now I try to lie
It's eating me apart
Trace this life out
-The All American Rejects "Dirty Little Secret"

I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive
-Cascada "Everytime We Touch"

I think that's quite enough for now.
*Note to self: feel better*

An Apology

This morning when I woke up I realised I was surrounded by a mob of Microsoft workers.. or so they said.
Anyways, they forced me to apologise to Bill Gates fer calling him an "uptight loser who has nothing better to do than ruin other people's life". I had to, I had no choice! They said they'd sit there and bug meh until I did! What was I to do?
So, yeah. I apologise, Gates, for calling you uptight.
*The guy is poking meh!*
And a loser.
*Poke*
Who ruins peoples' lives!
*Poke poke!!*
Ow, wot was that for?

I'm outta here.

A blessing in disguise

It works! The cursed thing actually works! Mwah! Ta!
You might be wondering why I'm up so early.. you're not? Oh, okay then.
Bye?..
Oh you wanna hear wot I have teh say? Alrighty then.
Ahem.
Wot was I gonna say...? Oh yeah. Yes.
My Mum and I are going to the Monday Market in Zaventem *nods*. It's all very exciting... NOT.
You have no beeping idea how hard it was to get out of my beeping bed this morning!
I hardly got any sleep last night, all cos of hiiiiiim! Damn you, guys!
I think I'm gonna write a song after I'm back from shopping, called A Blessing In Disguise. Yes.
Must dash now. See ya, suckers!

Die Infernal Virus!

This morning, I woke up thinking everything was hunkydory, but I was wrong.. :o
I turned on my laptop but it wouldn't boot up - that's okay I was gonna reformat it today anyways.
So I booted it from my Windows XP Pro CD, and ran through the installation proceedure, everything was fine until it got stuck on "Setup will be complete in approximately: 34 minutes".. okay, I thought, I'll just run it again, it's all good.
So, I did it again, and again it got stuck. I started screaming profanities and so on and so forth.
I'm still running the cursed setup but, god, if it gets stuck again I promise you someone or something will get smooshed to smithereens..
Calm down, Komal, relax..
Ahem, yeah. You may be wondering how I'm writing this if my beeping laptop is beeped up. Well, I'm using my parents' old computer. It's not that old but it still bugs me. I can't even access Facebook cos it's old! Damn you!!

I shall keep you posted of my situation.
And with that, I'd like to say one final thing:
I HATE MICROSOFT, UP YOURS BILL GATES!

To Love Or Not To Love?

That is the question.
They say love is all you need, but what about me?
And if love is the answer, then what is the question?
What the hell is wrong wiv Cupid - can't he ever do his job right?
Or does he have something against me? I have no beeping idea.
But it really bugs me. I can't believe I had to do what I did. And now I may
have to do it all over again. I guess Ioane was right about what he wrote in my sketch
book last year, in MY2. He knows what I mean.
I don't mean to hurt anybody, but I end up doing it anyways. I keep trying to tell
myself that it's not my fault, I'm not the one who made them to fall in - wait, maybe I did but not on purpose, I didn't force them.
Damn. I'm sick and tired and I can't beeping do this anymore.
How can I stop it from happening again? I can't, can I? Argh.. the pain.

Facebook Frenzy

I am totally addicted to Facebook! It is the best! I used teh think BeBo was cool but Facebook is totally awesome! If you don't have one, I seriously recommend you get one! It's a great way of talking to friends, making new ones, and most of all: having fun!

You can do almost anything on Facebook, you can buy drinks for your friends by adding a few apps (applications), poke people (hehe, Jongy!) and rate people. You can play games, send gifts, teddies, wotever! You name it!

I've got about 30 friends right now, nothing compared to others. It's a good way of finding peeps you used teh be friends with some time ago, but then you just kinda lost touch. Believe me, I know.

Get a Facebook!

Not Good Enough

I didnt' know what I should write so I asked Jerome who said maybe I could write a song about school. :s Okay.. here it goes.

Not Good Enough
Wake up at six to catch the bus
So I woke up late, why all the fuss?
The bus driver won't mind, I said to Mum
I waited patiently till she was done
Nag, nag, nagging all the time
Why can't I ever be on time?
Why do I always wake up late?
I need to realise my mistakes
But everything I ever do
Is never good enough for you

On the bus, we're laughing and joking
We're having fun, not sulking or moping
Like we do at home I feel so trapped
I have two lives and when they overlap
It feels so weird, it's really odd
How people act at school but they're not
Like that at home, who would have thought
How I was at home with everyone shouting the odds
Cos everything I ever do
Is never gonna be good enough for you

We get homework everyday
It's all work and no play
I wish it were different
We don't need all that
All we need is ourselves
And that's a fact
Oh no, here I go
Overlapping my lives
School, home, love, I need to divide
Keep them separate
So they don't interfere
I seemed so desperate
When you disappeared
Oh no, not again
I really need to stop
Overlapping all the time
Or, or, or
Or I might find myself stuck in
A web or truth and lies
All over again
I'm stopping this time

Everything I ever do
Is never good enough for you

HBG

Oh, yeah. And I forgot to mention today was Giles' birthday. :
How could I forget? He's been going on about it for ages!
Well, happy birthday Giles. I know you'll make the best of it.
HBG - gettit? HBG, HGB? No? *Sigh*
Wish it was Wednesday everyday.
That or I went on Ioane's bus.
Without Ioane.
Or Saki.
Actually having Ioane on it wouldn't be so bad.
Nor would having Saki.
Actually, scratch that.
Yeah.
What was I saying?

HGB Madness

Hellogoodbye rock! I looove Call N Return (Say That You're Into Me) and Here In Your Arms!!
Haven't posted for a while, I know, but there's nothing really to post about.
School's.. like school, home's boring, life's a.. bbbbbore.
*Sigh*
Why isn't there a single damn thing to do around here?!
Argh!

Here In Your Arms (My Version) - Komal Josan

I was (and still am) so madly in love with HGB's Here In Your Arms that I decided to make my own version. It's an adaption from their original song but I've changed it slightly, adding my 'twist' to it. Hope you like it - not that I care or anything. I like it and that's all that matters.
(Please say you like it!)
So here it is; my version of Here In Your Arms.

You are the one, the one who’s in love with me
You hold me close and say you’ve missed me terribly
I fell in love with you when you first looked at me
Now I count the minutes till I’m back in your arms

I like who you are
When we drive in your car
I like who you are, yeah

You seem so far
When I’m not in your arms
You seem so far, yeah

You are the one, the one who’s in love with me
You hold me close and say you’ve missed me terribly
I fell in love with you when you first looked at me
Now I count the minutes till I’m back in your arms

I like where you sleep
When you sleep next to me
I like where you sleep, yeah

I like when we meet
When we meet, it’s so sweet
I like when we meet, yeah

You are the one, the one who’s in love with me
You hold me close and say you’ve missed me terribly
I fell in love with you when you first looked at me
Now I count the minutes till

Our lips can touch
And our cheeks can brush
Cos when our lips touch, yeah

Well you’ll be the one, the one that lies close to me
You’ll whisper "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
“I fell in love, in love with you suddenly”
“Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms”

I want to hear you say all this stuff to me
So please hold me close and say you’ve missed me terribly
Cos I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

One True Confession

One True Confession – Komal Josan

I hear the echoes in my head
All the voices saying things unsaid
I’m thinking to myself
I’m just lying here on my bed

Thinking of the great days we had
And every mistake that wasn’t bad
Everything that we once had
I miss you

I don’t know where I belong
Voices tell me I should move on
But you stole my heart
And I think up a song

I’m thinking of the times we’d run away
And find a place to stay, far away
We’d forget our troubles, relax all day
Me in your arms

I know for sure that you are the one
Without you here my mind goes all numb

My stomach’s fuzzy, with this feeling
There’s a knot that really killing me
It hurts to miss you
It hurts to love you
But I do

This is my one true confession (confession, confession, confession...)

I’m thinking of the days I spent with you
I wonder if you think of me too
I’m spending every moment of the day
Wondering why you went away

This is my one true confession (confession, confession, confession...)

Chemicals React

I'm currently in love with Aly & AJ's song Chemicals React. I think it's awesome. It's at the bottom of this page if you wanna hear it. I seriously recommend it.
On other news, well acutally, there is no other news. O.o I didn't even know I had news. Weird or what?

Shadows - Komal Josan

Whenever you’re here
I feel like I belong
But when your disappear
Everything feels so wrong

(I need you now)

It’s like you are the only thing that’s gotten
Me this far
Without you, I’m forgotten
Don’t go too far because

[Chorus]
I’m falling
Deeper and deeper and deeper
Into the ground
When you’re not around
I’m falling
Faster and faster and faster
Underground
Then you come around
And break my fall
I don’t land on the ground
But into your arms
You’re saving me from the shadows

Wherever you go
I feel like I am there
Whenever you go
I go into a state of despair

(I can’t breathe without you)

If you go today, I swear that you will
Take away
Everything that I am
Save me yeah

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
You are the only one who understands
What I like and love, my only friend
If you leave me now, you’re gonna take away every bit of me
You are the only guy I’ve been able to trust
The only one I’ve truly loved
If you leave now, you’re gonna tear me to pieces

I’m falling
Deeper and deeper and deeper
Yeah yeah
I’m falling
Faster and faster and faster
Oh yeah
You’re saving me from the shadows

(I’m falling)
Deeper and deeper, deeper and deeper
(Into the ground)
(When you’re not around)
(I’m falling)
Faster and faster and faster and faster
Underground
Then you come around
And break my fall (you save me)
I don’t land on the ground
But into your arms (into your arms)
You’re saving me (you’re saving me)
You’re saving me from the shadows

Goodbyes

It's funny how quickly people come and go in life. They'll be in yours one moment, and gone the next. Sometimes it's for the best, but other times can be quite hard. It can change your life forever. Someone can come into your life, brighten it up, and then leave - again, and again, and again.. But in the end, you're left on your own. Why does this happen? That's what I want to know. They say everything happens for a reason - does it? And time heals all wounds - no, it doesn't, believe me, it doesn't.

Sweet Memories

Had a really funny time on the way back home, on the school bus, but I won't go into ti. There might be some 'strong language' ^^. But believe me, it was hilarious! And Ioane; our bus driver is the best :P.

Nothing much to say, apart from that. Erm.. had a very interesting conversation with a few friends on MSN last night. ^^ Banana man :P.

Also spoke to Ian ^^ who no-one knows about (apart from me, that is). But he's really cool and funny. Sweet, too. Hehe..

He's been through the same things as I have, we have lots in common. I find it really easy to talk to him, about anything at all. Great friend, Ian. Works wonders for heartbreak (my lips are sealed).

Muahahaha!

RIP

We are gathered here today to bid my old iPod Mini KoMi-MaRs goodbye. It was a victim of iPod Linux and Podzilla. =(
It was the best iPod ever, it was with me through good and bad. It supported me and made me feel better. It's smooth surface and 6GB hard drive always made me forget the pain and misery.
(It's a long story)
Anyways, I was able to restore it but KoMi-MaRs is no more, it died along with 496 songs..
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
May you rest it piece.

-------

In other news, a new KoMi-MaRs was restored this morning, welcome K♥M! Can you figure out what K♥M stands for? I doubt it.

KM

Jokes

As most of you may already know, I am a very sarky person with an incredibly weird (but also extremely funny) sense of humour for a thirteen-year-old. I have decided to add a compilation of jokes I find funny.
N.B. Just because I find them funny doesn't mean you will too.

Here's one from memory.
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
Here's another from memory.
A guy walks into a bar. Ouch - you would have thought he'd have seen it.
And another from memory (gosh, memory knows a lot o' jokes!)
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"

A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here, you know." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."

Even More Lyrics

Woo, I'm on a roll!

Young Johnny Smith – Komal Josan

Oceans and waves could never save him
He always wanted to fall
But he fell too deep, the darkness would seep in
He didn’t like it at all

They did what they could to save him
But everyone knew he wouldn’t make it

Young Johnny Smith watched his life flash before his very eyes
And though it was swift young Johnny Smith was one to cry

Nobody knew what he wanted to do
He wanted to get through life
They all thought he was a goner
But he wanted to survive

They tried their best to save him
But secretly they all knew he wouldn’t make it

Young Johnny Smith watched his life flash before his very eyes
And though it was swift young Johnny Smith was one to cry

Rest in piece, Johnny Smith
They said as they lifted
Him into his new home
Young Johnny Smith
Centre of it
Just wanted to belong

They knew they could not save him
No point in trying, he would not make it

Young Johnny Smith watched his life flash before his very eyes
And though it was swift young Johnny Smith was one to cry

Now young Johnny Smith
Is no longer young
His body lies covered
By nettles that once stung
Now they don’t harm anyone
For no one visits
Young Johnny Smith
He is no longer young

Album

I released but another album on Project Rockstar* today.
There it is. The band's name is YiKeS! and the album's Je M'en Fou De Toi - a mix of english and french songs. I'm quite happy with what I've done with the cover. What do you think?
Here's a picture of my design studio (The Essence of Truth) on PR.

Like it?

*Project Rockstar is a popular internet game involving the management of bands. Players can create and disband bands, create record labels, gig their bands, etc.

http://www.projectrockstar.com/

You should try it ;)

Edit: It would make my life a lot easier if I had Adobe Photoshop, but until then I shall have to stick with Paint..

Her Feelings She Hides – Komal Josan

Her Feelings She Hides – Komal Josan

She’s not a loner
She’s got lots of friends
But she likes to be independent
She’s one of those
Who feels they have to defend
Against things made up, in their head

No one knows what goes on in her mind
Everything’s buried like

Her feelings she hides
You can’t see into her mind
She’s falling in space
Suspended mid-way
She won’t confide
She’s scared she’s losing her mind
She won’t show her face
She feels a disgrace
But we don’t know why
Her feelings she hides

She’s always saying
Life has no meaning
We live without any feeling
At least that’s how she feels
Maybe she thinks surreally
She said she’d like to believe in

Something she hasn’t got already
Something she hides

Her feelings she hides
You can’t see into her mind
She’s falling in space
Suspended mid-way
She won’t confide
She’s scared she’s losing her mind
She won’t show her face
She feels a disgrace
But we don’t know why
Her feelings she hides

But the way she hides them is really clever
She tucks them inside her duvet cover
And night is the only time she’s alive
It’s the only time she brings them outside

She’s always saying
Life has no meaning
She’s always playing
Sad tunes with feeling
She make outs
Everything’s alright
But it’s not
We know there’s something she hides

Her feelings she hides
You can’t see into her mind
She’s falling in space
Suspended mid-way
She won’t confide
She’s scared she’s losing her mind
She won’t show her face
She feels a disgrace
But we don’t know why
Her feelings she hides

Her feelings she hides
Her feelings she hides
She’s falling in space
Suspended mid-way
She won’t show her face anymore
Cos she feels a disgrace, all alone

But no one knows why
Her feelings she hides inside
You can’t see into her mind (no no no)
She’s scared she’s losing her mind
She won’t confide (no no)
She won’t show her face
She feels a disgrace, oh
But we don’t know why
Her feelings she hides

I wrote these quite a while back, I still feel they're lacking something.

Goodbye (I'm Sorry) - Komal Josan

Goodbye (I’m Sorry) – Komal Josan

I never thought it’d come to this
At first it was love and bliss
Then I realised what I missed
Living like this

It was like a living dream
Full of life, and it seemed
You were the one, the one for me
How were you to see?

There’s no other way, believe me
I don’t think we’re meant to be

Cos you and me
We want to be what we can’t
You and me
We tried to be but we’re not
And no matter how hard I try
I don’t mind saying goodbye
I know I should feel bad
But I don’t feel sad at all

I didn’t know how you’d take it
And nothing could have prepared me for this
Wasn’t sure if you’d be okay
But it’s the only way

There’s no other way, trust me
I know we’re not meant to be

Cos you and me
We want to be what we can’t
You and me
We tried to be but we’re not
And no matter how hard I try
I don’t mind saying goodbye
I know I should feel bad
But I don’t feel sad at all

You say you love me
You say you want me
But it can’t be true
Cos I don’t love you

I’m sorry

Cos you and me
We want to be what we can’t
You and me
We tried to be but we’re not
And no matter how hard I try
I don’t mind saying goodbye
I know I should feel bad
But I don’t feel sad at all
Oh o-oh
I’m sorry

I just finished writing this, hope you like it.
I base most of what I write on real life.

Songs

As some of you may know, I write lyrics - I'm a lyricist :)
I've decided to post some of them on this here blog. Don't you dare try to steal them cos

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

Ahem, yes. Back to the song now.

I Am What I Am - Komal Josan

I’m better than anyone else in the world
You can’t stop me cos I am unstoppable

You might call me names
You might say things to make me mad
But I won’t give in
I’ll keep trying and take a stand cos

I’m better than anyone else in the world
You can’t stop me cos I am unstoppable
I’m just as good as you
I’m just as bad
I might not be the same as you
But I’m just as mad
I am what I am

You can’t change me
Nor can I, even if I tried
Don’t try to frame me
I know they’ll take my side cos

I’m better than anyone else in the world
You can’t stop me cos I am unstoppable
I’m just as good as you
I’m just as bad
I might not be the same as you
But I‘m just as mad
I am what I am

I know I’ve got a bit of a temper
But if you knew me, you’d see I’m quite tender
And fragile, please don’t try to break me
I’m agile, don’t you dare judge me
On what you might think

But I’m better than anyone else in the world
Yes, I’m better and unstoppable
I’m just as good as you
I’m just as bad
I might not be the same as you

I’m better than anyone else in the world
You can’t stop me cos I am unstoppable
I’m just as good as you
I’m just as bad
I might not be the same as you
But I am just as mad
I am what I am
I am what I am, what I am

Huh??

Don't listen to I - it's all a lie! I didn't steal it from I, I stole it from Me, then Myself came along and made things even more confusing!
:s
I'm gonna stop now.

Me, Myself, and I

I was going to tell you a story about Me, Myself, and I but then I would be telling three stories as Me, Myself, and I are three different people - although, they're not that different from each other. Here is a picture of Me:


Myself:


And last, but certainly not least, I:


Cute, huh? ^^

Please comment on Myself as I created that and I has a pic to prove it, only Komal stole it from I >:-(


See? That's just mean.

Wooot!

Looks like you've found my blog! I'm guessing this is by accident because why in the world would you or anyone else wanna view my blog? But now that you're here you might aswell take a look, it's upto you. Actually, it's not upto you. My blog has super powers that make you want to read it, whether you like it or not. I guess you could say it has gotten this ability from me - the future world ruler. Muahahaha. My evil-ness has no end and knows no boundaries. I shall do anything to prevent you from leaving my blog. I will make my posts funny in a crewd, dark way. And, if all else fails, I shall be forced to do the most dreaded thing of all - create a poll. :o